About
Hi, I'm Diana, aka DesiresAreGrey!
You can find me on: Reddit Twitter YouTube
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My Transition
I came out as trans in late 2020, but my parents didn’t let me start HRT. At the time I was mostly active in mainstream trans communities where I was told that there was no harm in waiting, and also I hadn’t learned about DIY (I will never forgive mainstream trans communities for doing this to me, forcing me to continue masculinizing)
I finally learned about DIY in around mid 2021, and was able to start HRT in late 2021 (don’t ask). By that time my mind was broken by the forced masculinization. I had also somewhat come to peace with that fact that I would be visibly trans for the rest of my life (or so I thought).
I had an extremely thick beard/etc. I grew facial hair before anyone else in school growing up and it made me so depressed that I never kept it neat or shaved it or anything, just a basic trim every so often. Even if I shaved hard against the grain I still had stubble and beard shadow. My body was also covered in hair. I felt so distraught. I started laser in early 2022 and it did work (it did take 1-2 years though). I also started voice therapy in early 2022 (took me until early 2025 for it to become passing)
So from late 2020 to late 2024, I was either a manmoder (yes an actual manmoder, not a boymoder) or visibly/audibly trans. I remember women (especially early transition) being kinda scared of me, probably didn’t help that i was brown. I remember hurting myself because I thought I doomed my life to being this way.
In mid 2024 I became a semipassoid who was generally confusing to gender afaik. I did feel better but I remember being extremely bitter at passoids then because of how it felt to be a semipassoid, someone who’s “almost there, but not”.
Then in early 2025ish, I became a full on passoid (doing my eyebrows + voice improving + more HRT time is what tipped me over). I didn’t expect it would ever happen, my brain refused to let me believe that, after 24 years of existing as someone perceived male with 4 of those years “being” trans, I changed into someone who was perceived female. Over the past year I did eventually accept that I pass. I feel horribly guilty about how i acted and of the fact that i was (for once in my fucking life) a lucky person. My whole life was defined by absolutely shit luck. I'm sorry to anyone I hurt by being an annoying pos.
In late 2025 I got FFS. I remember early transition thinking about wanting FFS, but knowing I’d have to wait until maybe my 30s or something until I’d be able to get it. I still feel really happy that things changed and I was able to get it